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Haven Homes Winter League – M and M Top the Charts

The image of Mitchell and Mundell is a like a bad dream featuring ‘Peaky Blinders meet Laurel and Hardy’. This nightmarish duo of brutish Big Trev and the chilling Geordie, somehow manage to extort three points week in, week out. Saturday’s startled rabbits were Marc Morley and Dinsdale O’Hare who rolled over with a withering effort. The hopes of the league’s ‘also rans’ were quashed as Morley and O’Hare carelessly parked their balls out of bounds on the 15th hole whilst still in touching distance. Some shoddy play on the 17th contributed to the lax effort and the leaders moved closer to the season’s finish line with a 1 up win.

Dubbed the ‘best looking swinger’ in the club, John Cairney shaped a comfortable win against Hewett and Gray. Aided by Steve Gandy, the pair covered each other well against the hot and cold duo. The match was closed out on the 14th hole in the testing conditions. No excitement whipped up by ’Fifty Shades’ this week

Best play of the day came from Rowany’s very own Pro Golfer Tom Gandy. The match was resting on the 18th hole with Jack Gilbert against Dave Corrin and Allan Tasker. The excess rain was causing Gandy’s fake tan to stream into his socks but this was no concern to him. He holed a pitch shot on the final hole for an eagle two and a win for the team. A very handy score on a roll over week in the twos comp.

Dark stormy clouds were on the course and hovering permanently over the sorry heads of Paul Thomas and Mark Walton. The full time residents of Gloomsville share a chemistry that can only be termed as ‘morbid’. Up against the worst performers in the league, a massive 5+3 defeat was achieved. Chief of the Slag Brothers, (Coz) was grunting with glee as replacing Orry Teare with the reliable Bunty option paid off.

A rare 3 points was scooped by the beleaguered Kevin Stacey pairing. The unkind weather took its toll against Peter Addison and Wilf Lowey. Following a scrappy affair, the drowned rats were huddled around Holty’s half stacked coal fire in the clubhouse. Addy’s soggy rear end backed up so close with his acrylic wardrobe almost combusting as he hogged the heat.

It was fabulous to see true sportsmanship at Rowany between The Feds and Peter Holt and Dickie Corrin. Before the game had started, Power was eager to advise Holty was using a putter way too light for winter greens. This advice wasn’t heeded as Holt haplessly three putted the first for a loss. The third hole took the spirit of golf to the next level as Holt demonstrated unparalleled generosity. The scene was set on the green as he scored what appeared to be a hole winning 5. Power had been swinging around in the pampas grass, taking relief and then losing his ball around the fourth tee. It seemed a lifetime for the ball to appear and Power hacked out from a tricky lie to 60 feet. An offer to concede the hole due to time limits and order of play issues was made but true gentleman Holt insisted that the shot be made. The putt can only be described as ‘miraculous’ and it was a delight to see the Club Steward with what appeared to be tears of joy in his eyes as the ball dropped in the cup. For a moment, Holty was speechless.

Corrin and Holt folded on the fifth hole four down with post-traumatic stress and conceded the match. Their opponents begged to carry on in the wind and rain but alas, the four were in the cosy bar within minutes listening to Holty chatting about his beloved City’s winning margin predicted for the following day.

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